After what he said that day, my agitation has only increased by the hour and I'm feeling too uneasy to go back to sleep. Although he assured me that what he asked was just out of curiosity, I can't help but feel there's something written in between the lines. If what he asked really happens, I doubt I’ll be the only one affected. But if it does happen, am I ready? Hmm. I think the most honest answer would be a no. And to answer his question, I really don't know what I'll do. A politically correct answer would be that I'll just let it be and move on but honestly I don't know if I'll be able to. The wounds would definitely take a long time to heal and I'll definitely be broken. Our lives have become so intertwined that if I try to pull one out or untangle in any way, the other would snap. That's what I feel anyway. *Sighs*. Maybe I’m just over thinking. Over thinking isn’t help much. Nobody is going to realize the pressure I've been under and all the sufferings I've been withstanding silently. I apologize for being in such a bitchy mood and selfish. I'm sorry I’m angry and upset. Especially by one thing but how the hell am I supposed to put it in words? Guess I just need some time alone, maybe? Or just get rolled over by a train.

missyousomuch ahmad zaki najmuddin

.

To readers: Thank you for checking up on me. I love you guys with all my heart. But I’m not going to talk about what I’ve just wrote to anybody. :( Don’t waste your time asking. Signing off, bye! ;))