25 June 2009

It's been a while since I've done anything. I've actually been about drifting aimlessly. Waking up, not knowing what I'm supposed to achieve for the day. Going to bed, and not knowing stress. It's not a bad thing per say, but it doesn't feel very good. When there was studying needed, I'd know that I have to do it, and really get down to doing it. It's quite terrible doing nothing.

But I think it's not so bad. Despite all the stress, I actually can say I love what I'm doing. I hope it'll be alright till my contract ends. And till you figure- I do look like a guy if I want to. But I'm GIRLY if I want to be. Who cares? I'm Liyana.

I just realized I'm a very goal orientated person. Though I expect quick results, I think I need long term plans. I'm trying to RELAX badly, but it seems I need something going. Only if I was allowed to work. Nevermind, I'm up in a course 'soon'. That ought to keep me occupied.

Random is great.


14 June 2009

I'm having terrible MORBID thoughts gushing my brains now. I feel totally glutted up and somehow I still feel happy. I'm in serious need of help huh?

Why am I like this??I just read something that I wished I never read. It wouldn't affect a nano inch of anyone else, but I feel horridly affected. As though I have tonnes of weight suddenly plummet on my face and pulverized my essence. Yet, I don't exactly care. Dang, I don't even understand me... period.

I want something badly, but I ignore it. Why? Like when I wanted that handphone, then I thought how great mine already was (even though it has no exciting games, 2.7MB of memory and looks dull). Like when I wanted an iPOD, then I figured that my existing MP3 is the best (even though it's 2yrs old, has stellotape and is 256MB). Like when I wanted so many other materials, but decided that I don't need them. Why am I like that? I ignore things I desire, and truly work for. Because I satisfied with what I have. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know...

Down-to-earth? I am stuck by GRAVITY. period.

My dearest Farahiyah,

It's your birthday, Happy birthday:D