Ignoring all that shit things.

I don’t know how I should put this.

I love you so much.

Maybe it’s just a sound. But it’s written and I can’t take it back. You were so sweet. Sweeter to me than anyone's ever been before and I've fallen in love with you. And I don’t know what to do. I've never felt like this before. I'm sorry that I can’t be there for you when you need me most because I’m so far.

That day, you said you love me too, so much. And I said, ‘Yes, I know’.

And you asked me,

‘How you know?’

Since I couldn’t ask myself, I told you to cut my heart into ‘X’. And you’ll see your name written there.

But, you told me, if you cut my heart, of course the blood will flow out…

So I said, ‘Yes, blood will flow out and of course I do need you as I need all my erythrocytes.’

I’m not sure if you really understand this.

You don’t have to cut my heart if you believe me too. Since you’re my erythrocytes, of course I don’t want that things to flow out from my heart. Let it be there, forever like you said. You are the greatest possession I’ve ever own.

And now, I still couldn’t asleep even we have wished goodnight for about 3 hours. I’ve been thinking a lot about you. Yes a lot. You said, having me is the best decision you ever made. Thanks. I hope that comes from the deepest part of your heart, Zaki… I don’t want to hear about any of your past stories. But tonight, I heard something about you, from someone…

Never mind, almost 4 hours since our last conversation. I better forget about it. I have to. Because I do love you so much too. I’m not going to tell you what I’ve heard… I understand, you won’t feel comfortable knowing that. Plus, I don’t want any fights happen again.

Urm… okayh…

forget it.