29 April 2009

I always have such difficulty when I try to write honest outcome. Seriously. My emotions get mixed in the metaphors and sometimes lose focus. But… it's all the same to me even if I'm the only one who notices. Recently, I’ve found that, it’s only about love to talk about. To anybody else, don’t like it? Fine, get lost. Sometimes, I’m bloody sick of this. But sure it’s not because of you. I often said, in countless time, just leave me if don’t love me. You do have a lot of girls before. Sometimes, I wondered, why should they come, regretted after all what they have done, when the moment I was with you? When we both are only to start create and plan our own future? Beautiful meant nothing when they’re hollow inside. I hope that’s doesn’t happen between you and me, now and afterward. You kept telling me that you love me so much and nothing gonna change that. But somehow, I knew, it’s hard for you to forget all your past love story. Yarh.. Compared to them, I’m not somebody. I never meant to rhyme but I’m honest now. Just now, that girl contact me again (I don’t know your ex or your puppy). She said, situations become harder when I was put into relationship. She said also, you didn’t want to break my heart after giving me hope and also she said, you do love her so much. Yes, she told me like that. I’ve already said before, I will trust you completely. I’m sorry. Maybe my writing sounds bit uncomfortable. Look, I never beg for any hope… I never beg for your own love if you’re NOT to love me… What’s the best for you, gonna be the best for me. Maybe it’s hard to speak the truth. And now, after all, you leave it to me to make decision? Yes, perhaps while I’m writing this, you still wait for the answer. But what I just scared that; if I make out my mind, that’s would only ruined your life. So, I’m going to leave it to you otherwise. I’m sorry again… for asking this shit many times. Yet, now…I’m reading your SMS that I’ve just received. Of course, I love you too. After you touched my heart, I never had a single doubt, that what I felt for you was what real love was all about. Sorry to bother you with that things. I’m not going to make any decision since it was yours. Also, I don’t want to lost this feeling through my fingertips. It would only cause scar and welts. But somehow, if you think you want to turn back, there’s an open door for you and I would fall back to place where I’ve began. No offence. Sometimes to love is to sacrifice. I don’t wanna be the burden that keeps you awake. Oh, by the way, you don’t have to feel guilty reading this. I’m not begging for anything except if it comes naturally from you. There are too many things to say and they flow through my mind. Nonetheless, I can indeed be honest with my feelings when the proper moments present themselves, and this writing is meant to shine some light on such situations. Congrats, you made it. We’re in finishing line. Hopefully more of you can relate and experience what I was trying to express. Thanks for reading anyway. Signing off, bye!

0 busy talk: