Guess what? Today is 30 April. I should be going to the interview. It was held in Bandar Tun Razak. But I don’t! I just got back from Johore. Moreover, I’m not interested to be a teacher. Why? A teacher doesn’t have time for a real life. Haha. lol. I’m joking… Firstly, I don’t want to work at school. Second, students nowadays don't even think about the damage they're doing to the teacher and sometimes they don't even look at their teacher as a person. That’s annoying. Thirdly, my character doesn’t always defend. My hand can’t help people on stumble. Haha. But that’s not the prime reason I don’t want to be a teacher. I’m looking for a job that could give me opportunity to point out my view, listen and deals with people. Wait a minutes… dealing with people, aha of course not a lower secondary student! lol. By the way, if my words are like a magical beans that grow into a stalk, I would rather interested in being a hero. Oh! Thanks for reminding, I know I’m girl. Heroism is a hard road to take. But I guess I fall far too often. And I fail way too consistently. Oh, another thing, please, don’t try to understand; it's just not possible you will. I’m just rumble about nothing now. See, I supposed to talk about my absence in that interview, we're going too far. Heh. I don’t know what I’m going to be. I don't have a slogan, I don't have a catchphrase, maybe these things will be used as evidence, and maybe I will become recognizable by my silence. Signing off, bye!

I always have such difficulty when I try to write honest outcome. Seriously. My emotions get mixed in the metaphors and sometimes lose focus. But… it's all the same to me even if I'm the only one who notices. Recently, I’ve found that, it’s only about love to talk about. To anybody else, don’t like it? Fine, get lost. Sometimes, I’m bloody sick of this. But sure it’s not because of you. I often said, in countless time, just leave me if don’t love me. You do have a lot of girls before. Sometimes, I wondered, why should they come, regretted after all what they have done, when the moment I was with you? When we both are only to start create and plan our own future? Beautiful meant nothing when they’re hollow inside. I hope that’s doesn’t happen between you and me, now and afterward. You kept telling me that you love me so much and nothing gonna change that. But somehow, I knew, it’s hard for you to forget all your past love story. Yarh.. Compared to them, I’m not somebody. I never meant to rhyme but I’m honest now. Just now, that girl contact me again (I don’t know your ex or your puppy). She said, situations become harder when I was put into relationship. She said also, you didn’t want to break my heart after giving me hope and also she said, you do love her so much. Yes, she told me like that. I’ve already said before, I will trust you completely. I’m sorry. Maybe my writing sounds bit uncomfortable. Look, I never beg for any hope… I never beg for your own love if you’re NOT to love me… What’s the best for you, gonna be the best for me. Maybe it’s hard to speak the truth. And now, after all, you leave it to me to make decision? Yes, perhaps while I’m writing this, you still wait for the answer. But what I just scared that; if I make out my mind, that’s would only ruined your life. So, I’m going to leave it to you otherwise. I’m sorry again… for asking this shit many times. Yet, now…I’m reading your SMS that I’ve just received. Of course, I love you too. After you touched my heart, I never had a single doubt, that what I felt for you was what real love was all about. Sorry to bother you with that things. I’m not going to make any decision since it was yours. Also, I don’t want to lost this feeling through my fingertips. It would only cause scar and welts. But somehow, if you think you want to turn back, there’s an open door for you and I would fall back to place where I’ve began. No offence. Sometimes to love is to sacrifice. I don’t wanna be the burden that keeps you awake. Oh, by the way, you don’t have to feel guilty reading this. I’m not begging for anything except if it comes naturally from you. There are too many things to say and they flow through my mind. Nonetheless, I can indeed be honest with my feelings when the proper moments present themselves, and this writing is meant to shine some light on such situations. Congrats, you made it. We’re in finishing line. Hopefully more of you can relate and experience what I was trying to express. Thanks for reading anyway. Signing off, bye!

Love this!

I'm checking your pulse
I'm giving you air
But your body disagrees
And no it don't care at all
I'm wasting my time

Now your eyes roll awake
You're looking at me
You say "Darling what happened
Did I fall asleep?"
And you carry me home
Cause I know I wasn't here

I'm closing your blinds
I'm shutting your eyes
And now I
I'm afraid I have to go
Whoa

I'd sing you a song
But i'm feeling quite off
In my heart
It's occupied
And now's not the time

Let's try this again
And this time don't laugh
Cause I'm working on my sentences
I'm working on my play on words
I'll get it this time

If I am a clock
Than you are the time
I'm patiently waiting
In your out of line
And i'll be the question
If you'll be the answer

I'm closing your blinds
I'm shutting your eyes
And now I
I'm afraid I have to go
Whoa

I'd sing you a song
But i'm feeling quite off
In my heart
It's occupied
And now's not the time

If I am a clock
Than you are the time
I'm patiently waiting
In you're out of line
I'm counting the times
You've lied to my face
My hands were full
Not a second to waste

If I am a clock
Than you are the time
I'm patiently waiting
In you're out of line
I'm counting the times
You've lied to my face
My hands were full
Not a second to waste

I'm closing your blinds
I'm shutting your eyes
And now I
I'm afraid I have to go
Whoa

I'd sing you a song
But i'm feeling quite off
In my heart
It's occupied
And now's not the time
The time

Ignoring all that shit things.

I don’t know how I should put this.

I love you so much.

Maybe it’s just a sound. But it’s written and I can’t take it back. You were so sweet. Sweeter to me than anyone's ever been before and I've fallen in love with you. And I don’t know what to do. I've never felt like this before. I'm sorry that I can’t be there for you when you need me most because I’m so far.

That day, you said you love me too, so much. And I said, ‘Yes, I know’.

And you asked me,

‘How you know?’

Since I couldn’t ask myself, I told you to cut my heart into ‘X’. And you’ll see your name written there.

But, you told me, if you cut my heart, of course the blood will flow out…

So I said, ‘Yes, blood will flow out and of course I do need you as I need all my erythrocytes.’

I’m not sure if you really understand this.

You don’t have to cut my heart if you believe me too. Since you’re my erythrocytes, of course I don’t want that things to flow out from my heart. Let it be there, forever like you said. You are the greatest possession I’ve ever own.

And now, I still couldn’t asleep even we have wished goodnight for about 3 hours. I’ve been thinking a lot about you. Yes a lot. You said, having me is the best decision you ever made. Thanks. I hope that comes from the deepest part of your heart, Zaki… I don’t want to hear about any of your past stories. But tonight, I heard something about you, from someone…

Never mind, almost 4 hours since our last conversation. I better forget about it. I have to. Because I do love you so much too. I’m not going to tell you what I’ve heard… I understand, you won’t feel comfortable knowing that. Plus, I don’t want any fights happen again.

Urm… okayh…

forget it.

Saturday 15 Going Random

1. I'm not obsessed with my own hair. Serious.
2. I dont like looking up. Dont ask why! HAHA
3. I don’t like people saying "Hi" to me when I'm online, (except from him) although when it happens, It comes by the bulk. That’s why I kept being invisible.
4. I sing. Willingly. When no one is listening. LOUD.
5. I am a certified Miloholic.
6. I don’t really like the smell of blood. "creeeepppy!" But I need it.
7. I have too many best friends. And it sounds totally weird, but I'm trying to cut down. Dush!
8. My soul acts selflessly to help others as My brain thinks up sarcastic and mean things. Eh?
9. I WANT TO BE A NATIONAL BLOGGER! *rawr!*
10. I got time online, and I needed a distraction from Online Games. That’ why I’m blogging
11. I may laugh for 10 minutes for real jokes.
12. I weigh more than you expect. (ask me personally for the figure)
13. I'm a LAKSA QUEEN! i can never get tired of laksa, you name it! Hahah
14. I blink, a lot
15. I am not who you think I am

Err? Already fifteen? Can I add one more pleaseeeee? Heh.

I was currently in LOVE with him :)

I'm sincerely sorry for not updating much. Only this for today. Signing off, bye!

A blog of the Day Awards for 23 April goes to...

Blogging is great even it’s boring. Sometimes this is a perfect place used as a punching bag to let it all out. Anger, hopes, and dreams. This is not my first blog. And for a while it was considered fun – I posted trivial details about myself, did the quizzes and memes. I have also learned to accept others I have met through blogging I would have otherwise dismissed. Blogging is a way to reach out and sometimes the only outlet a person may have. Haha. We’re going much serious now. By the way, what I’m going to say is, I was so proud to be announced as the winner for Blog of the day Award.

http://blogofthedayawards.blogspot.com/2009/04/ondhe-cekemanteyo.html

There’s no money, no throphy, but I agree it was beginning of a new chapter in the life of a blogger. Hehe. I hope that I am still smiling as I look back down on earth. That I ‘m not saddened when whenever I lose my smiles. That time whenever I read again my blog, It would bring joy to me... :)

Forgive me F?

I post this at the same day you post yours. I have no emotions. I’m not really going into this kind of relationship. I am stupid. I’m childish. I was jerk. I am more than any bullshit you ever knew in your life. And that’s what you label me. Fine. I accept that. I’m Liyana and you can call me L. And you choose to be called F. And we both know well who is Z. Ok. This is what I hate. I hate this kind of writing. Again, forgive me for the dramatic used of language. Somehow I tried to calm myself; I can’t be bothered with this shit anymore. I can’t and I can’t. Z and I have decided, if anything happens just let it be. So I won’t regret. I am writing not to say anything bad about you or even that Z. I love both of you. Yet, still now, you’re still my best friend. I never mad of you. Maybe it just a little misunderstood. Really it is. I’m not pretending to be like an angle free and pure from any sins. And I will never blame you on every single thing you said about me. And I’m even not asking anyone to cure my illness. I’m not sick. I am physically fine. But I can see my problem and yours too. Maybe someday, you won’t care about this anymore. It’s ok. It’s me all alone. I've never been so lost like this and I don't know what to do. I lost my best friend. Turning the clock won’t change anything. If only the way for you to forgive me is by letting that Z go, I would do that. I’m not begging for any love. But I was in love. I really do. And I meant it. It’s beyond my control. And he loves me too. Maybe it’s hurt. Believe me, I never plan this before. I’m not an architect with a good and high class planner in hands. Because once you told me, you won’t and don’t care anything about Z and you trying not to over ‘A’. Maybe you still love him. I don’t know which one. I swear, I didn’t involve in this when he’s still with you and when we both in college, in the same classroom and in the same row. I’m not that cruel. Is it my fault to open my heart for someone that holds the key? ‘In love’ and ‘loving’…It’s different. I know I’m just nothing to talk about this. Stupid and idiotic. Yarh. No emotions like you said before. Forgive me, friend? Ignore this for the rest of your life if you really hate me. It would still doesn't change my mind that you're a nice friend I do knew before. May God bless you. Bye.

Which one? :D

Johore Matriculation College (Science Course)

The Interview slip for Teacher's College (Social education/English/BM)

Frustration is building up inside of me. I got offered from everything that I’d applied except for that TESL UiTM. Duh. Ok now.. take a deep breath.. Inhale. Next step, I breathe out.. Exhale. Surprise; it actually worked. Impressive, I should reduce screaming next time. Haha. Back to issues of hand, matriculation or teacher’s college? Yes, I’m not asking you. Only naive people think life is so simple and that there are no difficult decisions to make. Oh screw it, I only live once. Enough only my mom is a teacher. I should be something else. A lecturer, at least. Heh. Ultimately the choices we make shape our lives. I have never thought myself a strong individual. I have never thought of myself as covered in cold steel. Now I see. Every person has this inside. The right motivation, the right provocation is all it takes. So, yeah I’m going to be what I want. Don’t be so silly by asking me, do you really enjoy that thing and these things? Well, I think that I’ve never heard something so true. I believe my ability even it’s only a piece of sad thing to be heard. Haha. Living from day to day is my only option, and.. Forgive me for the dramatic used of language but it isn’t enough. Don’t worry I just warming up my mind. I guess, I rather choose matriculation, for now. Yes! I don’t have to go for that interview. Overall I was thankful to God for giving me this pleasure =)

Duh.

I don't feel very well at the moment, or rather: I feel miserable and depressed. I meant. With hacking problem (I really fuck on you and I don't know who) and another stupid silly things happen yesterday, enough to ruined my day; sometimes. I'm a pain in the ass for the people around me. Even my best friend talking absolute nonsense about me. Disgusting! There is a word ‘SORRY’, so can’t you accept my apologise? (i_i) But thanks, I'm feeling much better because he will always be there supporting me.

byeeeeeeeee. off.

Well.. Definitely what?

Last nigh, as usual, I was chatting with my aunt. She received an anonymous IM on her yahoo messenger about young man from Italy.

Him: Hi!

Her : Hi! asl pls?

Him: I’m Mark, from Italy. I want to grind your cock.

Her : I’m 47, from Malaysia.

(So, she told him that, it’s not humanly possible for a guy to “grind” another woman)

Him: Fine, so I haven’t had sex for such a long period that if it were possible, I would re-grow it again.

Her : No thanks…

(So, she signed out her yahoo and IM me that night storied from A-Z)
I just couldn’t stop laughing. My aunt said, she couldn’t sleep until 3 am last night

Me: So what did you do?

Her: Blinking my eyes on bed..

Me: Duhh! Why not you just do the ‘wirid’? (Actually I was thinking whether she would took the sleping tablet but I forgot she haven't had one there)

Her : Wirid? What wirid?

Me : Uuh-um.. “Wirid cepat kawen lah!” Hahhahahahha! (Since I knew she was hit by the constant, desperate urge to get married with whites’ man)

Her : Stop teasing me! (Angrily but still laughing)

Me: Eh, after that?

Her: Ok, continue story.. I slept about 3 something and when I woke up, it’s 6.50 am!!!

Me: Ohh? (So curious) After? after??

Her: What else? Like ‘ribut’ I have to get ready before the assembly start.

Me: LOL. So overall it was about you’re going late for school…? I though what else…

My future uncle (sitting; in black coat) and my aunt (Cream scarf) :D

Our conversation did not end there. They were so many topics I was discussing with my aunt, including she offered me to bank in some cash in my account!! Wow. I love my aunt so much. But I didn’t accept her offer since I was a bit embarrassed. Luckily, that offer is has no end :D It’s kinda a good promotion. Heh. After that, my aunt asked me about my preparation to matrix in Tangkak. I was about thinking to wait for that UPU first. And she was expecting me to get the JPA scholarship by the end of next month. Actually, I’m scared of going wrong. I’m scared of measuring up to expectations.

I know that’s the realization of life and that’s “what everybody goes through” and all that jazz, but somewhere down the line the fear does grip. “What if I fuck up?”, and if I do, What next? I’m just observing by the ‘going-ons’ of things around me and it doesn’t really seem like ‘fun’. Duh. But, thanks God, I got a supportive family and there was a ‘man’ beside me to hold me up whenever I’m down. =)

So yeah, sleeping like a queen in the middle of the “blue-green” waters of the Mediterranean with a gorgeous prince for company and blankness of the mind works perfectly for me.

And this morning I woke up at 6 am which is not something that I frequently do after finished my school. Maybe I was too happy that Chelsea meet everton in final match for FA cup? Hahahahaha! ;DDDD

The best conclusion is, life seemed simple. I wasn’t over-analyzing it. Gheeeee. ;B

Murdered an innocent child

Alan's new site

Hey last night I opened Alan's new pages. You know Alan? Moderator of Syokblog. He’s awesome! I admit, I’m not even a little interested knowing any celebrities gossip but I amazed on how he could make sense of his blog. Just eighteen and he able to managed all his web pages. Sometimes I wondered if this Alan really sits in front of computer 24 hours a day! Oh hell, ok, stop talking about that Handsome Alan.. Actually, I want to point my opinion about one of image Alan submitted in his Chelaka Gallery. Hahaha, I'm just fucking sick of those abortions issues. I don’t know whether, that bitch get raped or the condom break, still; abortion should NOT be a legal. In some country, abortion is already a legal. (I’m not pretty sure which one) Yeah, maybe they thought, it's a GREAT way to keep the population under control and ensure tomorrow's world will be less crowded. But I think, that was not a real-method to deal with next generation if we can get EVERYONE to abort. It is more sounds a shortcut way to hide your mistakes. All you have to do is get up, have your boyfriend drive you to the abortion clinic, walk in... and get an abortion! See? Problem solved?

We can’t say that kids these days and in the future have nothing to offer. So what if we might abort the child who will one day cure cancer or AIDS, or become the best president in the world - although that's only a small chance, we cannot just pretend like there's no chance at all.. This world is already shitty as is. If you don’t want that kids, leave it to me. Hahahaha! ;DD

Before you guys proceed to next paragraph, read this first, I’m not that “mommy” in this story ok? And of course I’m not that talking fetus since I am here writing this post. Oh yes, don’t dare to tell me, I understand that embryos and unborn babies could not actually talk. Their souls could, though. Perhaps? Hehe. The word of "Mommy" is used because the center of that baby's world is his Mommy. I just used the short sentences, and sometimes run-ons, because his speech is not too far developed. Hahah! Don’t believe it. Actually because of my bullshit used of English phrase. Please note that this is about the undying love of a baby to his mother. Since I’m not going to be a doctor, I wish that someday, doctors can go into a baby's mind and show how the baby feels. Not to forget, thanks Alan for give me the brilliant idea to write about. Credits for you! Here we go….

Hi Mommy! It's me, your precious unborn baby! (It’s actually supposed to be-Hi mommy! I’m a talking fetus!) You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Isn't it amazing how I can already speak English?

Gosh, Mommy, I'm just so hyped about being born! The thought of having a chance at life just sends my barely-formed heart-tube a-flutter! Of course, I am a little nervous about the prospect of having to eat with a lamb instead of just sucking your blood through a hole in my abdomen. Will you help me learn, Mommy? Ha ha, of course you will, since staying home and raising babies is what walking incubators--I mean, women are meant to do! ^_^

Wow, I just heard some nice lady tell you that I could grow up to cure cancer one day! What's cancer, Mommy? Is it something that gives people ‘ouchies’? (Wait, hang on..am I spell it right?) Maybe when I'm born, I'll grow up, get real smart, and cure all the world's ouchies! Wouldn't that just be super-cool, Mommy? Haha, I'm just teasing you, Mommy. I'm waiting to experience the miracle of life!I'm so glad you chose life, Mommy. You're making the world a better place. Anyway, I'm glad we had this little talk, but I'm late for my hourly punch to your bladder. Bye bye, Mommy.... see you later. -The End-

If you read this, then you should feel just fine, unless you're one of the millions who feels bad after having an abortion. If that's the case, just read this again. Hahaha. Ok, I don't understand what I'm talking now. Dush!

BORED? Read it :)

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes
to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do
you think I could stay the night?"

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The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car.

As the man tries to fall asleep, but he hears a strange sound. The next
morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't
tell you. You're not a monk".

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The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry
way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same
monastery.

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The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.

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That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years
earlier.

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The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell
you. You're not a monk."

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The man says,"All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I
can find out what that sound was, is to become a monk, how do I become a
monk?"

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The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades
of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles.
When you find these numbers, you will become a monk."

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The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and
knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, "I have traveled the earth
and have found what you have asked for. There are
145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles
on the earth."

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The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show
you the way to the sound."

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The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says,"The
sound is right behind that door."

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The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Very
funny. May I have the key?"

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And The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

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But behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands
the key to the stone door.

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The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of
ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that
door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the
man had gone through doors of emerald,....

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.......silver, topaz, and amethyst.

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Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."

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The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob,
and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that
strange sound.

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But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk. LOL


Oh ya, just to share, A monk is a man who is a member of a brotherhood living in a monastery or the dwelling place of such a community and devoted to a discipline prescribed by his order. :)

Out and Out

one aim

two buyers

3 slices left

four hysterical

five choices

Nothing much remembered, we’re all merely shoppers, not always knowing where we are going or what we want, but our goal is the same. Footstep is a good tourist guard. I was quite driven by sales, life’s little shortcuts. And some of my friend too. But that’s only if our purse is full of money. No money, no shopping bags! We are addicted to arcade as well. At bowling Alley, just pray to the pins, and leave sacrifices. I really enjoy my bowling game this morning. We have a good time and always stuck our head up laughing hysterically and I knew, everyone annoyed us there. I choose to be a fourth player among my friend. Seriously, a lane next to us is a professional one. Whenever a strike "X" appears on their screen, I felt like to start start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy. Shit. If you are not a pro, I suggest that; every time you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU JERKS!" Continue this behavior until it forcefully thrown out! I should name my ball something like "KILLER". Openly boast to everyone how great I am, throw like a wimp, and do this all day. And so.. Until my last turn to drop ball, I failed to strike. What a busted points left. Seriously. Then I turned back, looked at the screen, happily ever after and screamed: “Yay! I’m the loser! Wo-HOOO!” Due to frustration, I was busy checking my handphone until I heard my friends said, “Liyana! You’re not the loser!” Luckily, friend after me is the loser. Sorry ya.. Heh. Maybe I should explain to the owner how my game is "All sorts of messed up" due to plate tectonics, then lose it in lingo. So, demand compensation. Then I sit down as if nothing happened. Hahah :D

You KNOW LYANA is sick when...

...she takes naps

...she doesn't correct everyone's mistakes

...her own grammar sucks

...she can't IM

...she falls asleep at the computer

...she keeps accidentally clicking on the wrong things

...Panadol is her new best friend

...the ringing of phone is her mortal enemy

...she doesn't want to listen to music

...she stops thinking about writing

...she stops reading Twilight

..she stops reading, period

...the room feels too dark

...but if she turned on a light, it would be too bright

...she stops caring when someone leaves the door open

...she can barely walk the ten feet from the living room to her bedroom

...half of her face is warm to the touch, while the other is cool to the touch

...her thoughts are even weirder than usual

...she gets sleepy every two hours

...she falls asleep even when she's thirsty

…she forget the breakfast and even lunch

...every time she wakes up from a nap, it feels like a new day

...she thinks that someone on webcam changed her shirt even though she just spoke with that person an hour ago...with the same shirt on.

*Sleeping* (+_+)

ciao.

Story for you

Once upon another time...a not so beautiful (black-brown eyed princess) sat patiently awaiting a snow storm in hopes that her prince would finally come, braving the cold and blowing winds to make her his own.

She needed him not to provide material things, but shelter her, hold her up when she was down and sad, laugh with her when she was silly, hold her tightly when she was cold, and enjoy being there JUST BECAUSE.

Many ‘winter days’ have passed, and she still sits and waits.

There have been days of laughter, days of tears, moments of lunacy and moments of fears.

Yet she waits...

...and she waits.

Until one night of December, she has dried her tears, faced her fears, laughed at her own silliness and has an electric blanket to keep her warm. *damn it* She don’t need anybody that time.

For that moment, what she awaits is simply the snow storm!

One day of March, the mighty warrior came along in the tail of that thunderstorm. He brought with him the smells, the sights, the sounds and the power of it. She soon fell in love with him. Though she knew that this warrior was to be free, and never really hers, she welcomed him into her castle. There they laughed and sang, they talked and cried. (They even discussing football) His words, his touch, his love made her feel as if she were the most beautiful princess in all of the kingdoms.

The day he was off to his own battle, she knew she would not share her kingdom with him...but would carry his love with her for all of her days..

I don’t know exactly how to continue it. At least there’s a gist. Somewhere, somehow, the princess and prince of this story is somebody and someone. =)

Pen and Paper

Seriously I'm bored. I thought of sending him a text, but maybe I would disturb him then. So, I just checking my profiles and update my blog.

And, weird is, I read the horoscope for today. Hahah. Is kinda interesting.

"When's the last time you used a pen and paper? In this day and age of computers, the keyboard has all but replaced these wonderful tools. In the same way that walking provides much more than fresh air, the kinesthetic value of the rhythmic motion in writing with a pen is far more soothing and even healing than most realize. Moving your hand across the page can feel good and unlock places within you that aren't always accessed by typing. Try it today. "


Although I'm a computer addict, I still love to write pen on paper. The above is so right! For me typing on my computer will never replace pen & paper completely, as e-books will definitely not replace real books. I took the challenge and did some real writing today. Not a form or a list of errands but a letter, a story or a diary; you get the point. So I ask you: when did you do "real" writing? I meant, it's really a 'real'. How often and for what do you use pen & paper? :)

What did I do most for this week? Here we go:

“Beethoven, Beethoven, you must FOCUS! Total concentration, zero distraction.” :)

My sister, she’s a doctor and also piano tutor at home. She took off for a week before going back to HSI in JB. And this time, I had a coffee with Beethoven. *winking* There’s an old classic piano at my house, a big one and it’s in my room. Hell! It causing my room became narrow and small. And I blamed my dad for it. ;O The last time I touched the piano is last two months before. Seriously, I swear, one small error had much power with this piano. Even it’s only a simple melody, but if interrupted again and again by a false key, believes me; you’re going to hear a sound like a train crash next to you. Duhh. Ok, times up! I’m gong back to practice, see you next time ;)

p/s: Note that the image above is not the real piano at my house, mine is double and tripleeeee uglyy. Dush!

Seriously I am disappointed. I should not have been recommended by my mom for placed the science course in my first choice for UPU. I put the Asasi TESL in second choice and Damn it, I failed to sit for that interview this Saturday! If that time I didn't follow my mom advice surely things can work out as what I want. But moms words are like a spell. Anything can happen. Heh. For sure, science is too advanced for me man. I really wanted that TESL you know. I still remembered, Seth told me that he wanted a job that can give him opportunity to speak and point out his views especially in English. That's cool. At least when I'm taking TESL, I could be a lecturer in English, speak to people. Hahaha.. From my opinion, learning English is simple. We didn't need strong science background in order for success in that field as long as we have all the basic tools to be used and absorbed while learning that. The amount of dedication it requires in that course (TESL) , I simply possess it. Now, the dream-it's fade. And, I think, I just hope for my JPA scholarship for oversea result this May...

Hello!

Hey,

Finally! The introduction to my new blog. I guess this is the third time, the third blog, and the third introduction I’ve ever faced since I was crazy with blogging. I don’t know what’s wrong with my previous, but I need to take a look and make a change. Heh. The last time I wrote was about me, alone. I guess. Uh-Yeah. But not really. I think that maybe, while I'm sitting here in the living room, (writing about you and me as well), I may have found the answer to the question. Anything. My thought was totally on SOMEBODYYY! *smile* but I don’t really have any idea on what should I write here because I think the complicated version would take much too long for me to write it. SERIOUSLY, blog format is confusing. To my loyal commentator, if you don’t agree, get lost. Haha It's a big world and everyone has issues. The problem is, I don’t have any single one- for this time. Dushh. So, do I really need an introduction? Friends, you know me and you know pretty much what I've been through. It's a pretty long list. But it didn't kill me hence I'm still here ;D *sigh* And and.. my writing currently has no rhythm or rhyme so.. It’s not form of poetry anyway. Thus, whats are you expecting from someone who is not creative enough too write thirty simple lines like me? I just managed to write about below thirty lines. Is that still considered great? Whatever... I already stood at the end of my introduction. Good girl. Heh ;P